Refute Your Negative Core Beliefs
“Some people complain that roses have thorns; others are grateful that thorns have roses.” Ziggy by Tom Wilson
You can change your negative core beliefs by first identifying your underlying negative thoughts and feelings. Then, instead of being stuck in your emotional muck, you can choose to create new thoughts to rebut your irrational ideas and negative self-talk.
Negative core beliefs can be changed to positive core beliefs.
|I expect to be abandoned.||I am loveable.|
|I am not good enough.||I am worthy.|
|I can’t do anything right.||I am competent.|
|I am being punished.||I am not a victim.|
|I cannot cope.||I am not helpless.|
|I am guilt ridden.||I have some regrets.|
By continuing to hold onto your negative thoughts you continue to foster your feelings of hopelessness and dependence. However, by accepting your limitations and by focusing on your assets, you can train yourself to have more proactive, positive dialogues with yourself. You can then mentally rehearse more effective behaviors that you can put into action. The more frequently you are able to see yourself in your mind’s eye as successful, the more often you will be able to flip the switch in your brain from its old negative, self-defeating, self-doubting mode to its new positive, self-affirming, self-assuring mode.
In due time you will realize that you have the power to change each of your negative core beliefs by identifying the underlying thought; by changing/reframing your perception of the thought; by formulating a new thought; by creating a new feeling; and, by reacting and then acting in a new, improved, healthier manner. You will find yourself feeling and being more comfortable, more secure, more relaxed, more motivated, more confident, more energetic, and more optimistic. Every day you will experience more joy in your daily living!!
By changing each of your negative thoughts one thought at a time you will come to treat yourself with kindness, patience, tolerance and encouragement so that you can become the person you always knew you were deserving and capable of being!!
Idelle Newburge LMHC, NCC is a therapist at the Center of Psychological Effectiveness in Plantation, FL.