Power Skills for Parents
Children do not come with a manual! Parenting is one of the most challenging life events. Children test our patience, deplete our energy, and add tremendous joy to our lives. However, as parents, we have many messages of people-pleasing and deferring our own needs. As you cope with the challenges of the summer and increased time with your children, I would like to introduce you to the concepts of Positive Power and Healthy Selfish.
What is Positive Power? Positive Power is a skill to develop and expand throughout your life.The key to developing positive power is to focus on the pronoun “I”. You need to recognize that “I” can only control self, that “I” is the power trigger to move forward which, are essential changes to the parent mindset. Parents especially are so focused on the “others” in their lives that they neglect the primary importance of the “I”. The “I” focus is the ability to be proactive in your life. You will still be considerate and thoughtful to others, however, the “I” focus will allow you to avoid being consumed by others. Parents needs to be caring, not consumed.
*Children pass through your life. Remember to build in alone couple time.
*Children need to become self-sufficient. Allow children to increase their responsibilities.
Healthy selfish is the next piece to the puzzle. You need to take steps to not push yourself too hard. If you feel burned out, tense or irritable – you need to develop healthy selfish behaviors.
Healthy selfish behaviors are necessary behaviors for adequate self-care and limit-setting behaviors. You do not live a life of simplicity. You lead a life of multiplicity which can lead to fragmentation rather and unification. Conflicting demands create a whirlwind of activity that can cause you to become unbalanced. You need to recognize not to depend on the approval of the outside world to create your happiness. You develop you own centered sense of happiness and well-being. You share your life with others, not sacrifice your life for others. You set adequate limits without guilt and are committed to a program of self-approval.
*Remember to establish boundaries with your children.
*Remember to maintain clarity on your personal goals and not get lost in the parenting turmoil.
It is essential that you maintain your personal identity, while you enjoy parenthood. Nurture your positive power skills and expand your healthy selfish behaviors. Happy Summer!