Priscilla Marotta, Ph.D
is Director of the Center and author of “Power and Wisdom: the New Path for Women.”. Former President of Florida Psychological Association, Broward Chapter with 25 years of experience. She specializes in trauma, aging issues, menopause, and life transition challenges. (954) 583-8831 Ext. 300
Explosion Control
As any parent can tell you parenting is one of life's most difficult tasks. In today's complicated world, parents sometimes find themselves drowning in a sea of great expectation and heightened awareness of the need for "Quality parenting."
Parents typically understand—and think about— their children's needs more than their own feelings. It's important though for parents to pay attention to factors affecting their own psychological well being.
- The exhausting factor. Parents are often too tired to be civil and reasonable with their children.
- The
juggling factor. Parents are often a perpetual-motion machine, and a
child's demands can
cause the machine to tilt. - The rejection factor. Parents may be hurt by their children's unkind comments and, in turn, their own feelings may be reflected in an angry outburst later on.
Recognizing and accepting there will be times when your child's demands come face to face with your own limitations and vulnerabilities is a step toward cutting down the number—and intensity—of explosions.
The key for parents is to recognize the signal inside themselves that precedes explosion. Rather than focus on the child's behavior, be aware of your own internal dynamics. For example, the signal may be a tightness in the stomach, an increase in voice volume, or a feeling of becoming flushed.
Once the early signal is identified, the parent needs to walk away and interrupt the explosion cycl