Article – Why does love hurt?

Why does love hurt?

“That feeling you get in your stomach, when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies just died.” ~ Unknown

By: Ziva Avramovich, LCSW

      Love is a great experience, and we usually celebrate the joy it brings. But joy is just part of the story; there are also tears. “My heart hurts, I can’t breath… I feel pressure in my chest,” said my friend in tears following a separation from his girlfriend after a relationship of a few months. Saying goodbye to a loved one can be a most painful experience in one’s life.

      YES when someone rejects your love, it hurts. Why does it hurt? Falling in love is a most desirable feeling, but it makes us vulnerable to suffering. The people we can love hurt us the most. We are sad and hurt when we lose someone we love, or their love. It brings to mind the metaphor that love is a beautiful flower with thorns…

      Psychologists have discovered the neural link between social and physical pain. Most of us see that as figurative link. But research at the University of California found that the area of your brain lights up when you are hurt physically is the same area that lights up when you suffer social rejection. MRI tests show that physical and social pain share sensory brain regions. That gives a new meaning to the expression, ‘my heart hurts’ – it actually hurts after all.

Sometimes it seems difficult or even impossible to live through that pain, but feeling the sadness is an important feeling, and is an essential part of the healing process.

YES allow yourself to feel the pain.

GIVE yourself time to heal.

LEARN lessons from the experience.

START a new hobby or take up some volunteer work.



Talk to a professional therapist and learn more about yourself in relationships.

Call the Center of Psychological Effectiveness.

FREE Telephone consultations are available by calling at 954-583-8831 or CLICK HERE and make a difference in your life!