Am I an aware enough parent?
By: Ziva Avramovich, LCSW, CIRT
As parents, we attempt to stay aware of ourselves and when may we over react. There isn’t a parent that is not aware.The question to be asked is “How aware am I?” We as parents must strive to raise such awareness and continuously act from a greater awareness. If and when we don’t accept our children the way they are, we hurt them. When we, again and again, react in an intensive negative way towards our children’s behavior, we must stop and think. Am I separating my needs from those of my child? Am I accepting my child the way he or she is? See, when we keep in mind such a fundamental dichotomy and stay attuned to the child’s developmental phase in life, joy will take place and the child’s special personality will reveal itself.
When we react from our perception of the child’s behavior in an unregulated way, even if our intentions our good, we send the child a message that the world is blind, cold, and insensitive. If we attempt to listen to the message our child is sending and we educate ourselves about our child’s development needs, we teach him that the world is encouraging wholeness, health, balance, awareness, and love.
Your hope as a parent is to act from awareness and connection rather than from judgment and restriction. The unaware parent is reacts from a point of view that his world is more correct. As a result, the child is viewed as an object in a subjective story of the parent instead of being considered as a special person with his special self.
To become an aware parent most of the time:
- Treat your child with respect.
- Listen to the message your child is sending, his needs are different then yours.
- Educate yourself about the development stage in your child’s life.
- Validate, validate, validate then emphasize.
- Be communicative and connected, not reactive.
To learn more about how to become an aware parent, call the Center for Psychological Effectiveness
Ziva Avramovich LCSW
Certified Imago Relationship Therapist